Women love to talk about relationships. They get together with fancy cocktails and dish on dating. They are always trying to understand men and solve that age-old question, “what should I do so I don’t scare him away?” If your friends didn’t have the answers, you may have buried yourself in the relationship section of the bookstore to get clarity or just did a Google search to find the solution from a plethora of dating experts at your fingertips. Uncertain of how to navigate a new relationship, you do all you can to avoid making a big mistake.
Unfortunately, most advice out there, from friends or experts, doesn’t really help and leaves you frustrated. Even the awareness that he may not be that into you is just a slap in the face that you don’t know what to do with. The answer for the correct code of behavior seems to elude most single people searching for true love and you are left always questioning your next move.
Since common attraction may not happen very often, you may tend to hang on to the latest catch as if he was your last hope. Do you feel like you have to be on your best behavior when you finally make a connection with a guy you like? Careful with your words and actions, you can’t relax and just be yourself for risk of screwing it up. Especially after reading the books about why he didn’t call you back or why he left, you are armed with all the foibles of ladies past determined not to repeat their blunders.
There is an easy solution to navigating the way to love and it doesn’t involve memorizing steps to follow to guarantee success. You are about to breathe a sigh of relief because I believe you can do everything wrong and the right guy will still love you. It is that simple.
Now, I know there will be many people who may disagree with my theory. Experts may tell you that you should understand what men want or what women want, and if you don’t do those things you will be a failure in relationships. Aside from heinous, sadistic acts, I can tell you story after story about women who have really “stepped in it” the first few weeks of dating someone new and they still couldn’t shake the right guy away even if they tried.
When true love comes into your life, he won’t love you because you are perfect but because you are YOU. If you are simply your authentic self and he rejects that, he wasn’t the one. The ideal partner is the kind that you can show all of your good and all of your not-so-great qualities and he won’t walk away.
Most advice I read when I was single was about changing who I was to be the woman a man wants to marry. This made me feel terrible, more insecure, awkward and inauthentic. Of course, the façade I put up worked to attract men, but all the wrong men because I wasn’t being me.
If you love you, that is all that matters. From that place you attract a man who resonates with your self-love. As you generate more compassion for yourself especially when you make mistakes, you will also have patience with your partner. He will feel SO good around you because he will have the freedom to be real too. Would you want a relationship where you have to walk on eggshells around each other or avoid issues because you are just so afraid to be wrong or judged or abandoned? That doesn’t sound like love to me.
Start the process by going inside and ask your divine self to show you who you really are. Fall in love with your dorkiness, muffin top, or annoying control issues. Tap into your authentic beauty, power and intelligence and the path to love will fall in line for you naturally. Trust that you can make no mistakes and, if the guy can’t handle the real you, just say to yourself…NEXT! There is someone else waiting in line his turn for a chance to be with wonderful YOU.
Tags: Anxiety, Articles, dating, dating confidence, Fears, law of attraction, loneliness, love coach, manifestation, personal growth, relationship dating techniques, visualization
Leave A Reply (7 comments So Far)
Gin
182 days ago
This is the best advice I have seen in a very long time, but the question is HOW? HOW do you do that – fall in love with yourself?
I believe that I honor my good qualities and accept myself in the areas that are less socially acceptable (overweight, teeth not perfect, facial wrinkles – hey, I’m 55, what do you expect?) because I know those mean that I’m not anorexic, bulimic, or suffering through chemo, have my own teeth, and have laughed a lot as I’ve made it this far. I love myself for my flaws and my strengths, but have not run into a man who feels the same. Where is this line of men who love women like me who are authentic?
debLove
182 days ago
If you aren’t finding him, 1) you aren’t taking action and getting out there to meet people or 2) you still haven’t fully accepted yourself as you are on the subconscious level. Work on your confidence by listening to the feeling sexy audio that comes with your free membership. You don’t need a line of men, just one and don’t expect him to be visually perfect. Accept HIM too as he is.
quest21
181 days ago
The above advice makes a mot of sense but I have this belief that when I meet him I would be automatically drawn to him or there will be something about him that will make him click. I am not really looking for a drop dead hunk in fact I like if my man will be slightly plump and wears a specs but what I really want to know that by having this belief of connecting as soon as I set my eyes on him am I doing the right thing or am I in ways postponing meeting him?
debLove
181 days ago
That is okay to have that belief except you need to know if that belief is made by your divine or your ego. Sometimes we dismiss people because of a belief like that and it is our ego keeping us from what we really want.
Tricia
181 days ago
What a great post! Yes, you are right, I am also one of those women who always tries to cover my brains and big character, and some of my real me features, which are what my friends love the most about me, and what makes me special, beyond the usual female features and feminine clothing I wear. So reassuring reading your posts! I wish you had written your book a few years ago. It would have saved me lots of trouble.Thanks Debi!
R
176 days ago
This is the BEST dating advice I have EVER read!!! It really resonated with me and where I am right now. People have tried to say this to me, but they never quite got the words right to make the point hit home in a way that was effective. I’ve found that if I follow “dating rules” and they end up working, I end up actually resenting the guy because he doesn’t like me for who I am and he was foolish enough to be “tricked” by the games. I think for me, I am learning to appreciate my insecure self and allow myself to be insecure and be patient with myself. Kind of sounds like a contradiction, but it’s exactly what you are talking about– love yourself where you are, even if where you are is not quite knowing how to love yourself yet! Thanks for sharing and much continued success to you!
K
86 days ago
When I read this advice, I felt really relieved….I was trying to figure out what I did wrong and regret what I did to him since he never contact me again. I have been wondering what he thinks about me and what if I did different way towards him…etc. Just I have been feeling so bad about myself. But after I read this, yes…what I did was nothing wrong. If he likes me, he will still like me even after I did something he didn’t like. If not, then he is not the one who I want to be…Who wants to be with the guy doesn’t accept who I am. Thank you Debbie. Now I can move on NEXT!